Here I am, a girl who has it all, a girl with a future!

The past doesn't matter much, all I care about is here and now, the rest never mattered. The future's just gonna happen itself, I don't need to plan it specifically. Although I do have some exciting ideas in mind, but there's just so much time until then!

I don't know what I'm blabbering about now, I guess I'm happy now. I just realized I'm tired of letting lame people hurt my feelings constantly, they're simply not worth it! I'm  just gonna let myself be... and everyone else can go... c'mon y'know... ;)

When you read the title, LOVE, what do you think this post is about to contain?

I'd guess, humph, what a cliche.

But yeah, even the wittiest of us need to be surrounded by some cliches.

Love's one of em, but there's all kind of ways to put it into words, in the end, love is cliche, and that's about it.

A cliche we all desire, but not necessarily need?

I came to this conclusion, every time I'm away for a while from home, it makes me appreciate it, it makes me really miss everything home-like. Like, my mom, normal food, my nice cozy bed, normal television, internet, my privacy, good coffee, my books and music.

God, I love home! But it's some time away you need to really appreciate it. Otherwise, it's just like any other day....

;)

Look at her, how is she any better than me?

She has a great body, she dresses nicely. But she's not that pretty, her eyes, they're just a pair of plain eyes.

My eyes are more interesting.

There's more inside of me than she will ever have.

I guess, he compromised for the great body.

Was that all I was to him? A thing?

How lame.

What a jerk.

I want a vacation, alone.

It's not like I've been working too hard, it's just, my mind has...

I need to go touring Elizabeth Gilbert's style.

It's just, I'm tired of seeking this thing that won't come, I'm sick of waiting for things to appear, and encourage them to appear and when they don't, get upset,

I don't want that, it happens each time, and I'm sick of it.

So here's what I'm going to do.

Nothing.

It's in their hands now.

There are so many things I want to say to you, but once you're standing in front of me, I lose it.

I'm just going to write them down.

I like you. I'm not sure why, I think it might be because behind all our jokes and stuff you can be a really neat guy, you're smart and funny and I know you care about me a little. Or at least I hope so! I don't mean to stress you out or anything, I don't know myself what I want, but all I know is that something happened, and as much as I'd like to treat you like any other guy in the base, I can't because it already happened, and we act like nothing happened and we never talk about it. I'm not saying I know what will happen next, you might be confused, hell, I'm confused myself. But I need to know if we're going with the flow or if it meant nothing and we move on. I can't just do this once in a while with you it's not appropriate I see you everyday, we're in the same base, if we weren't I wouldn't take it so seriously but it bothers me a little because I wouldn't do it if I thought it was a one night thing it just isn't appropriate.

That's it.

"I can't believe you didn't show up last night! You suck!" Jackie exclaimed as she spotted Andy walking towards her.

"I said I'm sorry, I had no way-"

"It's okay, what are we doing today?" It just slipped off her mouth, she almost regretted sounding so miserable.

"Um... I don't know you wanna go drink something?"

Drink, what?

"I don't know, but if you wanna see me today you better call, I'm tired of chasing you around."

Dammit, twice in a row.

"And nobody's gonna join us..."

"Better, more booze for us!"

Sure, dude.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys, they suuuuuuck. Why can't they pick up the phone, why do they always have to be all 'oh-look-I-showed-out-of-nowhere'?

"Come on!" Andy called from downstairs.

"Coming, coming, hold on!" Jackie yelled back as she struggled to place her backpack on her back.

"Okay, here we go" she said, dragging her bicycle along with her, smiling at him.

"Hop on" he directed as he started paddling.

"Dude, I'm bad at it, I hope you have first aid with you I-"

"What a beautiful day!" Andy suddenly exclaimed.

"Where are you taking me?!"

Andy turned around and smiled at her.

"Oh you'll see".

Eight AM, a tuesday morning.

Everything seems to be falling right into place lately, I finally passed my driving test yesterday, hurray! ;)

Also, I stopped smoking, I made my mind, it's better to be addicted to weird things like chewing gum or coffee than cigarettes. So I'm back to my old addiction - coffee.

And about my guy, well, you know what? It's up to him now. I mean sure I like him, I'd be his girlfriend, or even just his friend. But he says he only wants to have fun. So, whatever, I shouldn't feel too bad it's his loss not mine.

So it's a beautiful tuesday morning, going to meet some friends and make the most of my day, enjoy yours!

I lied today.

I shouldn't have dug into the past.

The past is the past.

It doesn't haunt me anymore.

Slightly.

Almost never.

Your name,

meaningless.